


Until I Find You Again

by thisaintmacys



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Terry Never Walked In On Ian And Mickey, Angst and Feels, Bipolar Ian, Bisexual Mandy Milkovich, Borderline Personality Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Homophobic Language, Ian's back from the Army, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecure Mickey, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Instability, POV Mickey, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Slurs, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:36:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisaintmacys/pseuds/thisaintmacys
Summary: "You'll come back; you always do."Mickey and Ian have a run in after Ian is brought home from deployment. Mickey never thought that Ian would be the one for him, he barely thought that he could even consider being gay, and yet there he was - staring at his soulmate. Only to realize, the concept of falling in love can sometimes lead to chaos, deception, and heartache. True love can also be the most beautiful thing in the world but only if you're willing to wait and sacrifice for it.Update schedule:Tuesdays and Thursdays starting on 3.13.2018





	1. The Night We Met

**Author's Note:**

> So this is it's own unique timeline. Characters from various seasons will appear such as Mandy, Sierra, and even Amanda over the course of the story. I wanted to write something from the heart, that is genuine and as unique as love truly is in real life. Get the tissues out, y'all, you're gonna need them for this read! Try not to be too mad if you hate the concept of Trevor being in Ian's life before Mickey, please!

"Why do you keep dragging me out to these damn bars, Mandy?" Mickey spat as he followed Mandy inside another local LGBTQ club called The Fairy Cave where she frequently visited. The eldest Milkovich felt the need to watch his back (and his behind) as he stepped inside the club. Inside, the place was dimly lit with flashing neon colored lights shining in random directions; tinting the room in shades of pinks, blues, and purples. "You know I'm not a fuckin' -" he could barely finish speaking before earning a harsh look from his younger sister. 

"You could stay home but you always say you have nothing else better to do so go get a drink, have some fun, and maybe you'll find a girl? Maybe I'll find one!" Mandy replied harshly as she slapped her I.D. down onto the black counter. Their I.D.s were verified by the guy running the door and their hands were quickly stamped, Mandy covered the two of them by showing her membership card, and the pair of siblings walked deeper into the club.

"Find a girl in this place that doesn't have a dick tucked up her ass? Right," Mickey commented as a pair of drag queens passed him by, a shiver went up his spine, at the thought of being caught with one of them. That could never happen; not in his mind. "I'll stick to being your, uh, wing-man!" Mickey called out just loudly enough for Mandy to hear him over a remix of 'Anaconda' blaring over the speakers. The eldest Milkovich wanted to punch the DJ for that one.

* * *

Half an hour passed by and nothing was happening for Mickey. Mandy had already found some chick named Amanda, that identified as pansexual when she approached Mandy, only to tell her how hot she was and ask if she could buy her a drink. After that, Mandy disappeared onto the dance floor or possibly to a booth; Mickey was left at a stool near the bar. "

Finally, Mandy arrived with her fingers intertwined with Amanda's and Mickey raised his eyebrows at the two college-aged girls, then sighed in relief as he downed a second shot of Fireball. "Good, _we can go_?" He asked, feeling more than ready to get out of there, Mandy then laughed and shook her head.

"Shift change! She just found out her 'bestie' from high school is working here now that he's been discharged from the Army." Amanda commented with a friendly enough demeanor. 

"We're going to go sit down and watch him dance!" Mandy concluded the conversation, a few moments later clad in nothing but golden shorts beneath the spotlight, right in the middle of the room was none other than Ian Gallagher himself.

"He's gotta be doin' this shit for pay like that Kev guy," Mickey mumbled to himself as he watched Ian dancing, grinning slyly as he would grind his crotch down onto the palms of men tipping him, by sticking money in his shorts. The more he interacted with the crowd, the more he loved it, and there was one guy in particular sitting near him that seemed to be living for the attention Ian was getting. 

The eldest Milkovich felt his heart pound in his chest as he watched Ian move. Subconsciously, he was feeling pretty envious of the men with the courage to go up there, and tip Ian like that. When it was time for Ian to take a small break, the older gentlemen cleared out, and Ian stepped down to speak to the curly haired young man next to him. 

Mickey watched as Ian tried to assure this person that he would be okay to get back home safely. The young man stood up, quickly walked over to Ian, and approached him from behind to speak. "Needing a ride -- back?" Mickey asked, clearing his throat as he waited for a response, without bothering to give a damn about the fact that he was inside a bar like The Fairy Cave.

"Looks like you found your ride; see you later, Ian!" the mysterious young man called out as a 90's girl band mix came on over the speakers, again making Mickey want to sucker punch the DJ that night. As the younger male walked away, Mickey didn't bother to ask who that was or what he wanted with Ian, he just wanted to know what Ian was up to lately and when he would be off work.

"Who the fuck was that kid?" Mick questioned, feeling confused by literally everything that was going on that night, from his sister's ex-boyfriend's brother apparently being gay and home from the Army - to whoever just left the two of them there.

"That so-called kid is my ex-boyfriend and my current roommate." Ian explained, he then narrowed his eyes when he realized he was speaking to Mickey Milkovich, then took a step back from him. "Why do you care and why are you offering me a ride?" Ian added, growing more suspicious of Mickey by the second.

"Your guess is as good as mine; I guess I wanted to see that you're back in one piece and you are so," Mickey trailed off as he noticed Mandy walking his way, "I mean there's that and my sister wanted to see you tonight." Once the words escaped Mick's lips, he stepped aside as Ian and Mandy embraced with a tight hug, while Amanda and Mickey looked at each other. 

"I'm taking her back with me so if you're with him -- **you're on your own**." Amanda calmly stated as she swallowed a cherry flavored Jell-O shot. 

"We're heading out but call me and we'll have lunch this week!" Mandy exclaimed happily, she was always so damn bubbly inside that club and she always seemed like a different person around those people. Mickey didn't get it but he could understand her need to cope.

The two young women walked through the front door and out into the cold autumn night, Mickey looked over at Ian with raised eyebrows, and Ian smirked. "Let me grab my things, you can drop me off at my place, and I'll give you gas money. It's fine; I'll finish my shift early tonight." Ian commented, throwing two fingers up at the bartender and she quickly prepared two shots of Jack Daniel's for Ian. 

Moments later he returned with a soured look on his face. "I forgot my fucking house key; I'm having one remade after a break-in and I forgot to pick that fucking thing up." Ian admitted, sounding defeated as he spoke to Mickey. He threw two more fingers up at the bartender to signal for more drinks as he swiped up one of the shot glasses. "Make those double, Svet!" Ian demanded, smacking a five out of his shorts down onto the counter as he downed a single shot of Jack while waiting for his double shot. 

"Trevor ditch you?" Svetlana asked; Ian scrunched his face as he swallowed the beverage and nodded.

"Work related incident at the Shelter." Ian commented, the Russian managed to have a look of sympathy cross her expression for once as she watched Ian wave his hand to Mickey. "Fucking drink, dude!" Ian encouraged Mickey and Mickey grabbed the shot, downing it without hesitation, then the double shot right after. Once Ian had done the same, the two walked out into the night and Ian popped a pill into his mouth, one that he had received as a tip from a customer.

" _ **The fuck, Gallagher?**_ " Mickey quietly exclaimed as he watched the other take the drug. It looked like he had popped X. "Alright, you better share that shit when you get back to my place." Mick continued, trying to not sound as judgmental but he didn't expect someone in the Army to cope with his problems with drugs and popping pills. 

It didn't take long for the pills to start working and while they were on their way back to the Milkovich household, Mickey noticed the look Ian was giving him out of the corner of Mickey's eye, which made the elder of the two squirm. "Damn, you look perfect in this light," Ian spoke softly inside the quiet vehicle. 

"Yeah - because it's **fuckin' dark** , Ian!" Mickey remarked, his hands gripping the wheel of the vehicle a little tighter. "Maybe you should just - keep quiet?" Mickey thought but he didn't express those words out loud.

Either way, Mick was miserable and done with the night already. 

* * *

 "Why are you always _so fucking grumpy_? Lighten up!" Ian snapped, turning his head to look at the lights on the passing buildings and the various street lamps lighting their way back home.

 "I'm not; I'm just frustrated," Mickey explained, furrowing his brow as he unlocked the door to the Milkovich home. Surprisingly, the house was much more clean now that it was only Mickey and Mandy living there, but it was still a mess in it's own way. Just enough to make it cozy but not enough for roaches to crawl through the wooden floorboards like they once did.

Ian wasn't buying Mickey's temper being about frustration. It had to be something else but he was too out of it to really give a damn, anymore. "So where am I sleeping? Mandy's room or with you?" Ian attempted to joke, he caught a glare from Mickey then was handed a blue blanket from the linen closet. 

"You get the sectional. Goodnight." Mickey stated, he then stomped off to his old bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Only to come back out, breathing heavily through his nose as he looked down at the Army Veteran.

"Don't puke on it; sleep close to the edge, and lean your head over so I don't find you dead if that shit you took reacts to the booze in your system." Mickey demanded, Ian turned on his side and faced the floor like he was told to do, while Mickey went to lay down on the other end of the sectional. Once Mickey stomped off, he made way for his room then shut the door behind him, the 'KEEP THE FUCK OUT' cardboard sign swaying back and forth as the door shook from impact.

"He needs to learn how to relax." Ian muttered as he drifted off into a deep drug and alcohol infused slumber.

 


	2. Still Here

"Where the hell are you, Ian? I was expecting you to be here when I got home this morning and you're nowhere to be found!" Trevor had sent in a text, from the way Ian read it, he began to panic as he moved to put his shoes back on and gather his things. Mickey was standing in the doorway watching as the other hurried to move around and moved to sit across from the other. 

"On my way home, Trev," Ian sent back, putting his phone into his pocket as paced around, his eyes scanning the room to make sure he didn't lose anything out of his pockets in the couch or elsewhere. "How did I get here last night, Mickey?" Ian asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he nervously stood in the other's living room. 

Mick rolled his eyes then shook his head. "I showed up at Fairytale, that guy you were with had to leave and Mandy ditched me with some Asian chick, so I brought you back here. You left your house key at home." Mick calmly stated, pointing to the door with eyebrows raised, Ian's nostrils flared in frustration at the other twenty-something. "The next time your here, with Mandy or whatever, don't bring dope around. Mandy's trying her best to stay clean of anything that isn't weed or some alcohol." He added, Ian felt frustrated but he understood why the other would feel equally as bad about the night before.

"Fine, I'll leave." Ian commented in a defeated tone of voice as he looked away from the young man before him. "Tell Mandy I'll see her later, okay?" Ian added softly, turning to walk out the front door once he was set to go. 

"Yeah, whatever." Mickey stated, storming off into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. Just as Ian was walking to the front door to leave, he was stopped by a hungover Mandy, and the girl she had picked up the night before. 

"Hope you two haven't eaten yet. I got McDonald's for us!" She spoke as she held up two bags filled with food, Amanda held up coffee and smoothies behind Mandy, as she looked over the taller girl's shoulder.

Mickey huffed and walked over to the couch to sit down once he grabbed plates and napkins from the kitchen.

Ian quickly grabbed his food and stood up, placing it into an empty bag as he smiled sweetly down at the other three. "Sorry but I need to be getting back to Trevor; he's expecting me to come home." Ian admitted, feeling awkward as he spoke since he couldn't even stay to eat breakfast with Mickey or his best friend. "We'll make up for this later, I swear! I have to get back, I have to go to work later today at my other job." Ian explained in a hurry, he rushed out the door and Mickey leaned back on the couch while he watched the other man leave.

"Something is really different about him," Mandy confessed, of course she would know since she knew Ian better than anyone. Amanda took a long sip of her strawberry banana smoothie and glanced over to the silent Milkovich boy across from her. "I mean, I've never seen him so far up an ex-boyfriend's ass before. He's not even a relationship type." Mandy complained, she then noticed her brother seemed to be very quiet and that could only mean one of two things: he was saddened by Ian leaving or a storm was raging inside of him.

"Can we get back to watching television? Roseanne is coming on for Christ's sake!" Mickey exclaimed as he wiped his mouth clean of the syrup from his McGriddle. 

"Fine. Sorry." Mandy mumbled, glancing over to her friend as she shrugged her shoulders.

* * *

 "You had me worried sick, Ian!" Trevor called out from the kitchen as he took his apron off to hang it up on the hook inside their shared townhouse. "I get back and you're not here, I thought you wanted to come straight home so you could rest for your EMT job?" Trevor questioned, placing his hands on his hips as he looked up at the ginger. Ian shrugged his shoulders then shook the bag in front of him which was now empty, implying he had just eaten despite Trevor's efforts to make breakfast.

"I wanted to but I -- forgot my key to the house," Ian admitted as he pointed to the wooden coffee table where it remained from the night before. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." Ian spoke softly, Trevor's harsh exterior cracked and crumbled as the younger man smiled then lead Ian into the kitchen. 

"Come on, come tell me about your night and eat with me. I know you can eat more than just a sandwich and coffee," Trevor responded, tugging the other's shirt as they walked into the kitchen. "I have to take my shot anyway so I prefer for you to be here just in case I screw up, you know?" 

"You mean you want me to give you the shot again?" Ian commented with a smirk, Trevor laughed and nodded his head. He hated doing it himself because he secretly loathed needles more than a lot of people he knew. 

"Alright, let's eat these bad boys first!" Trevor cheerfully responded as he made the burgers just the way the two of them liked. "I thought you would be hungover, anyway, so I made breakfast burgers with tots. Homemade honey mustard for dipping." Trevor concluded, setting the plate down in front of Ian followed by two cans of Sprite. 

Ian leaned back for a moment as his back touched the back of the wooden chair, he looked over at Trevor in such awe, and admiration. It was a shame that the other had to move away in just a few weeks - for Ian, there was no letting go. "Why did you sign up for that trip to Thailand again?" Ian asked, feeling tears form behind his eyelids as he attempted to blink them away. 

"The kids and teens need me there; I have to help them. I'm bringing a few back to the States in a few months and then we'll see what happens with us, okay?" Trevor stated in a comforting tone as he placed his hand on top of Ian's, patting it before the other could try to lace their fingers again. They agreed to not act like a couple when they broke up two weeks prior, that meant no hand-holding, or anything of the sort.

"Please don't get upset again!" Trevor pleaded, watching as Ian switched out the can of Sprite for a glass, a can of Coke, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey. Ian poured more whiskey into the glass than anything and once he prepared his drink he sat down to eat in silence. 

"I guess I'll have to accept the fact that you're still here, right? For now?"

"For now, yeah."

* * *

By the time that afternoon rolled around, Ian realized he left something at Mickey's but there was no way he would go back over to the Southside, and retrieve the item. He knew Mickey would probably bring it to him that evening. However, he was wrong about the timing and as soon as he was ready for work, just as he was about to leave - Ian heard a knock at the front door. "Shit." He grumbled, he opened the front door and looked Mickey right in the eyes. 

"Left your wallet, you fuckin' genius -- oh wait, wrong brother." Mickey commented with a tone filled with snark. Trevor moved to look around the corner to see who Ian was talking to, it was the mystery black haired young man from the night before that seemed to know Ian. 

Ian snatched his wallet out of Mickey's hand and went through it to make sure nothing was missing. He even bothered to count the cash, not trusting the other with the item at all, only to be surprised when it was all there. Not a dollar bill out of place. Clearing his throat, the younger of the two men raised an eyebrow at Mickey as if to ask him why he was still there. When he didn't take the hint, Ian nearly spoke up only to get interrupted by Trevor.

"Is that the guy from last night? I didn't get the chance to say anything to him. Did you stay with him?" Trevor asked, Ian's face flushed red and he clinched his jaw tightly as he pointed to the street. 

"Go, **now** , before I beat the hell out of you for coming over here. I don't know how you found me but just - get the fuck out." Ian spat, Mickey felt his blood turn to ice as he backed away from the angry Gallagher sibling and he quickly left, still feeling chills from the rage he saw within the other.

Mick watched as Ian shut the door from the curb; that was not the guy he used to know. 

" _What the fuck did they do to you over there, Gallagher?_ " 

 

 


	3. The Feeling You Thought You Had Forgotten

" **I don't like this one fuckin' bit** ," Mickey exclaimed loudly in a brash tone of voice as he walked through the Milkovich home. Amanda had left, leaving Mandy there to watch Wendy Williams alone on her day off from work. Mickey sat down in the recliner next to his sister and sighed heavily while she looked onward. "Something's wrong with him, Mandy. He's different now and not the guy we knew before he went overseas." Mick concluded, though he had never formally said hello to the second eldest Gallagher brother, he knew something was off. Ian was once softer, kinder, and would smile sometimes in passing even if it earned a nasty look from Mick in return. Now, Ian was like stone, unless he was with that Trevor guy he was apparently living with. Then it was like Ian was the same Ian that Mickey once knew.

The one he fell for, from a distance.

Mandy immediately muted the television and turned her attention to Mickey's words. " _How?_ I mean, can you tell me because... _I don't see it_. I just see the old Ian but he's a little rougher around the edges." Mandy asked, pulling her hair back to fix it in a messy bun while she waited to figure out what her brother could be getting at.

His heart began to pound rapidly in his chest and he let out a shaky breath. "He's _nothing but cold_ to me, Mandy. I feel like he hates me or something without a given reason, you know?" Mickey admitted, his icy blue hues locked on his twiddling thumbs as he bit down on the corner of his lip. Mandy's eyes narrowed and she adjusted so she could get a really good look at her brother.

"Okay, _look_ , I know you have liked him for **a long time**  - because you're really not that subtle; you never were. Yet you got lucky, he had a thing for you once and said that he thought you hated him. Ian actually thought you hated him and maybe, **just maybe** , if you tried to be his friend you would see he's the same guy. Just tougher and more confident." Mandy rambled, Mick's eyes widened then he let out a bitter laugh.

"Fuck off with that shit. I'm not gay and I'm **concerned** about your friend being your friend. You don't need someone like that around; not the dope-headed drunk I had to put up with the other night, at least. We're trying to straighten our shit out, right?" Mickey retorted, Mandy tilted her head and gave him a look as if to say 'oh, please.' in response to his words.

She knew his secret and Mickey couldn't keep it from Mandy any longer.

"Okay, explain why I found gay porn sites on your homepage when I opened your laptop the other day? Care to tell me why or why you watched 'Moonlight' recently, hm?" Mandy questioned in retaliation to her brother's denial. He felt defeated, absolutely defeated by her words. "Mickey, you don't judge me and I don't judge you; **I love you** , your my big brother and one of my best friends; so stop worrying. It's okay." Mandy continued, trying to encourage the other that it was okay for him to be himself, and not to hide his true feelings for anyone.

The eldest Milkovich sat there in silence, his brow furrowed, as he looked down at the floor beneath his black leather boots. "Yeah, I'm gay and I always liked Ian but because of Dad - you know I couldn't do shit." Mickey explained, Mandy nodded her head and sighed softly. She was glad that Mickey had opened up to her about how he was feeling; especially for her best friend.

"Then talk to him. Talk to Ian, try to get to know him, and show him you're not the guy he's thinking you are. That will break down his walls faster than anything!" Mandy advised, she then went back in her mind and realized what Ian had been called by Mickey. "What do you mean by dope-head and a drunk?" Mandy questioned, her tone was now filled with concern since that was out of character for a man that worked as an EMT part-time.

"He popped _some kind of pill_ ; I think it was ecstasy the other night after downing two double shots of Jack. He wanted the maximum effect after leaving work with me," the eldest Milkovich explained; feeling troubled by the thoughts of the night before.

"Maybe you're right that something is wrong. He's not the kind of guy that does that shit; something's going on and I'll find out. Don't worry, I'll let you know what the deal is." Mandy comforted her brother with her words though her own thoughts began to trouble her, since she didn't know Ian would even consider abusing drugs, and now he was doing that very thing. She wanted to blame it on coping with PTSD from being in combat but, then again, she didn't know if that was the case. The obsidian haired young woman still wanted to find out what the problem at hand was and she wouldn't rest until she had one-on-one time with her best friend.

"Hey, Mick, are you okay?" Mandy asked, seeing tears form in the other's eyes. Mickey immediately stood up and walked away turning his back to wipe the falling tears as he headed straight for his bedroom. 

* * *

 

Five days passed by, nothing had been exchanged between Mandy and Ian. No calls, texts, or even Snapchat photos. It was truly starting to worry her; even their Snapstreak and golden hearts had disappeared on their screens. Finally, Mandy got the courage to reach out to Ian and ask him what was going through his mind, and she knew it wouldn't be easy to get a response. 

"The fuck is going on with you?" She sent in a text, Ian felt his phone buzz while he was sitting on his and Trevor's couch, then narrowed his eyes. He and Trevor were watching The Avengers together and the buzz startled Ian.

"Who is that?" Trevor asked curiously.

"Mandy; she's trying to start shit and I don't want to talk to her right now." Ian replied bitterly, though he knew if he didn't respond, he would get a thousand texts and at least three phone calls before she would give up. "I guess I need to take this; keep watching, I'll be back in a few and I'll bring more chips with me." Ian added, walking off to go to what was the bedroom he once shared with Trevor, though now Ian was sleeping in his own room. 

As he sat down on the bed, he crossed his legs pretzel style and began to reply to Mandy.

"What do you mean?" Ian sent back as fast as his fingers could type the words out onto the screen.

"You're not you. You haven't contacted me, you were high as a kite the other night when Mickey had to babysit your ass in our home and now you're pushing us away?" Mandy questioned as she responded in a near instant reply. She was livid but also heartbroken by the fact that Ian was going through something without telling her. 

"Look, I don't have time for this. I have a lot of shit going on and I can't handle more stress; I need to go now." Ian tried to reply but it didn't work with Mandy's diligence about the conversation at hand.

" _No, you're not doing this!_ Ian, I love you like your my brother and you need to tell me what's going on. Don't be afraid to talk to me about what's bothering you, okay?" Mandy replied, letting a tear fall from her eyelids as she typed, the warm tear splashing down onto the screen of her phone. 

" **You're not my therapist, Mandy!** " Ian replied, she breathed heavily through her nose as her blood began to boil within. "Please, leave me alone, I don't want to talk to anyone right now - I had a long day and I want to finish this movie." Ian continued.

"I may not be your fucking therapist but I will tell you that you need to see one if you're doing drugs and drinking heavily. Don't become Frank, okay? Lip's already on that path himself and we know how that's going to go." Mandy stated, hitting send as she laid her phone aside so she wouldn't have to answer to Ian's bullshit anymore. Mandy sat with her arms crossed over her chest, looking down at how the text wasn't even replied to, but simply read.

Once he had calmed down from his own emotions getting in the way, Ian got up to go to the kitchen and grab more chips, hearing Trevor laughing when Tony mentioned having a Hulk to Loki. Just that alone changed his mood and once the tubes of Pringles were in hand, he placed them down on the coffee table as the pair sat together once more. 

"Are you okay?" Trevor asked, raising his thick brown eyebrows at Ian. 

"Don't lie."

"I - ugh, _no I'm not_ , but I will be if everyone leaves me alone. I want as much time with you as I can get before you leave." And there it was, words that tugged the hardest on Ian's heartstrings because they made him think of the future and the future had always scared him. Especially after learning about his deployment two years prior.

"Turn the phone off, block numbers, do what you need to do until everything is good again!" Trevor advised, sounding cheerful in his words because he always seemed to be so carefree about his life anyway. It was like nothing ever worried him except for work matters and this trip he was taking.

"I won't be okay for over a year." Ian muttered.

"You'll find someone, Ian. You need to start trying before I leave because you shouldn't wait for me while I'm gone; I'm going to be too busy to even Facetime or Skype you most of the time. Promise me you'll start moving on soon?" Trevor spoke softly in a plea, Ian blinked tears away then nodded, scrunching his face as he felt his heart breaking while he bit back more tears.

"Yeah, _alright_ , I'll try." The ginger agreed, looking down at his phone again to pick it back up and text Mandy.

"Good, you need friends and you need a new guy in your life. Someone that can keep you happy and take care of you because you know _I can't anymore_." Trevor stated, sounding more serious as Ian began to type out a text to his best friend. The second eldest Gallagher brother looked up again from his phone and locked eyes with Trevor. Trevor pushed his glaces up and forced himself to flash a friendly smile at the other young man. Ian smiled, too, even if his wasn't genuine either.

"I'm gonna go call Mandy and apologize. I'll be back, okay?" 

"Take your time."


	4. Second Chances

Mandy had a look of disbelief in her eyes when she returned from her second phone call with Ian. He had explained everything and the phone call lasted almost two hours, while he talked about the horrors of war, and how much his life had changed. While she missed talking to Ian like that, she didn't realize he had been through literal Hell overseas, and that Ian was definitely more than a hero. At least, he was to her, because he saved so many soldiers with his medical training. 

"Well, _I talked to him_ ," Mandy admitted once Mickey woke up from his nap and ventured into the living room to sit down and order food for them. 

"What do you want from GrubHub?" Mickey asked, avoiding the conversation at hand, and Mandy immediately responded with a harsh glare with her hands on her hips. Mickey dropped the subject of food and patted the cushion on the couch right next to him. "Alright, what happened? Spill. **Don't skip a detail.** " Mickey added, though he really didn't want to talk about Ian Gallagher in that exact moment, he allowed the conversation to go ahead and start. 

The younger Milkovich moved uncomfortably on the couch as she faced her brother. He could see now that she had been crying while talking to her best friend and it made him think the worst. "Ian went through some really traumatic shit, Mickey. I didn't know he had been shot while over there and how close he was to losing his life!" Mandy started, the thought of losing one of her only friends really hurt her deep down and she didn't like imagining the scenario which he was in. 

So, instead of going into the gory details, she skipped that topic all together and decided to dive into the part about Mickey's situation. "He has no problem with you other than thinking you hate him for no reason. Then there were the times you would intimidate him at Kash n' Grab during high school." Mandy followed up, Mick shook his head and laughed in disbelief.

"He has a funny way of not showing his problems then." The onyx haired young man stated quietly; his tone filled with sarcasm and slight annoyance. 

"Mickey, he has issues in general - **he almost died**. He almost fucking died out there while trying to save another soldier which he failed to save by the way." Mandy explained, she wasn't having any of her brother's wry commentary about Ian. "Would you be the same happy, sweet guy if you came home from that kind of situation? No, you wouldn't." Mandy concluded, while waiting on her brother to retort about Ian again.

"No, I know I wouldn't be the same." Mickey admitted but he also knew that he would never fight for a country like theirs because he didn't like the people in the White House and no one, by any means, could get him to save their asses. Luckily, with his criminal background history, that would never be the case for him - but Mickey still knew he wouldn't go. "He acts like I'm horrible to him but I've been decent; I let him stay here, knowing he could have overdosed on our couch." 

"Either way, he thinks you hate him and he said he doesn't hate you but he's not going to stand for your bullshit. So, if you don't have a problem, then prove it and he said he would try to give you another chance!" Mandy rambled, Mickey nodded then began looking over the app he had pulled up for ordering food. "Anyway, order something from Denny's; you know what I like and you can surprise me." Mandy concluded on the subject, she got up to walk off and get cleaned up as she was supposed to hang out with Amanda later on that night.

* * *

 

Once Mickey and Mandy finished having breakfast for dinner, Mandy left and Mickey remained sitting quietly at home for a half hour, before venturing out into the night on his own. He was out to his sister, didn't care to be out to his cousins, and frankly - he wanted to go to Fairytale for once on his own. He had never been by himself and for once he wanted to go though he hoped he wouldn't see his sister. When he arrived, she was nowhere to be found and as he looked at the flier for that evening, he knew he had arrived on a good night - Ian was going to be there and behind the bar instead of dancing. Apparently, Gallagher was a man of many talents, and Mickey was already impressed by that alone.

Yet, as soon as he sat down, he noticed the same curly haired young man hanging around. It was the one that was living with Ian and Ian took notice that Mickey had arrived with Trevor in the building. It made Ian act skittish and Mick himself couldn't help but notice. "What can I get for you, Mickey?" Ian asked, playing it cool as he took the young man's order. "I need your ID by the way." He followed up.

Mickey shrugged. "Double shot of Jack," Mick ordered, handing over ten dollars and his driver's license. When he was handed his drink, Ian smiled softly at the young man and took the two dollar tip from him with a nod to say 'thanks'. "Yeah. No problem." Mick replied, barely loud enough to be heard over the music blasting over the loud speakers. 

"Hey, do you mind if I take a break from slinging drinks and dance a little?" Ian asked, turning to his boss and Ian's boss smirked then motioned for him to go out onto the floor. The redhead removed his shirt, tossed it onto a stool behind the counter, then walked out into the club. "Come dance with me!" Ian asked, motioning for Mickey to join him and Trevor looked completely overjoyed from a distance. It meant that Ian was going to possibly have an easier time moving on than he assumed, and that was a true relief for Trevor. After all, he wanted genuine happiness for Ian, and he could tell Ian had a sparkle in his eyes for this guy - unless he was damn good at faking it. 

"I don't really know how to dance!" Mickey exclaimed as he was tugged onto the floor. 

"Follow my lead, okay? If I sway my hips one way; you follow by doing the opposite movement. You got this, Mickey!" Ian instructed, Mickey nervously began to move with the other to '[Endgame](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfnCAmr569k)' by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. The two moved to the beat, swaying in the middle of the dance floor, their eyes locked intensely on one another.

"Why are you being **nice** to me tonight?" Mickey asked, he couldn't figure Ian's motives but Ian just shrugged while he continued to move to the song. 

" _Second chances are a thing, you know_?" Ian replied over the music; Mickey nodded his head though he thought it was a little weird. It was like Ian's personality had flipped on a dime. "I'm giving you one; be a friend to me and I'll be around, okay?" Ian offered, Mickey nodded in response and continued to dance with the other until the song ended. 

Mickey's heart was pounding hard in his chest, every thump feeling like he was going to die if he continued to be this anxious, yet he also felt pretty excited. He felt good for once, about himself and about the situation with Ian Gallagher. The song had come to a close and Trevor walked up, holding out a pack of smokes to the other as he motioned for them to go outside, Ian nodded.

"Mind if I join?" Mickey asked, hearing the song "Somebody Else" by the 1975 beginning to play over the speakers and he didn't want to dance to that one. 

"Actually, _yeah_ ; don't worry I'll be back and we'll pick up where we left off. Trevor's leaving so I'm just saying bye while we smoke." Ian explained, sounding friendly enough before heading out the door to go smoke, shirtless and all. Mickey returned to his drink the bartender had been nursing for him and he took it back, taking the double shot and throwing it back, swallowing it in two big gulps. He needed it by that point in the evening because he felt so conflicted. 

Five minutes later, Ian returned and approached Mickey without a single change in his demeanor.

"If you drink, you know you can't work tonight unless you get up there and do another dance for the customers." The older bartender explained, Ian looked over his shoulders and shrugged, not really caring to make any more money that evening. 

"Consider me done for the night then, Adam." Ian said, he turned his attention back to Mickey with a small smile on his lips.

"Ready to get back to it?" Ian questioned, Mickey knew he didn't need to drink anymore since he had a feeling this was going somewhere, but he wasn't sure where everything was leading.

"I - yeah, alright." Mickey agreed, getting up to go dance to another hit song. 

"Let's go." Ian replied simply as he lead Mickey back onto the floor. 

* * *

"So, you're gay?" Ian asked, leaning in closer to Mickey so their chests were brushing as he spoke into the other's ear. "I heard you are and you're not with your sister tonight - so I guess Mandy wasn't kidding?" Ian added, Mickey swallowed hard and nearly stopped moving to the song he looked away and bit the inner corner of his lip, then remembered where he was. He was in a safe space, not in The Alibi Room, or some hole-in-the-wall bar in Southside. 

"Yeah, I'm gay." Mickey admitted, Ian had a twinkle in his eye that read to the older male as if he was thinking he knew the whole time, but never said anything. "Guess you knew?" Mickey called him out in a friendly way. Ian shrugged.

"I have to admit, you don't hide it very well. Every time you come in here at least ten guys approach you wanting something and you take the spotlight off me. Told you, you're good looking." Ian explained, Mickey was taken aback by Ian remembering the compliment and also by the compliment in itself.

"Thank you?" Mick replied, shaking off the confusing thoughts running through his mind to get back to focus on dancing. 

Soon enough, it was time for the bar to close, and the two had spent literally the whole night together since Mickey arrived. There was one last call for alcohol before the bar shut down and the pair went over to get another drink together. "You, uh, wanna come back tonight?" Mick questioned after buying the other a drink of his choice while he drank another double shot of Jack. 

Ian raised his eyebrows and seriously considered the offer. Could he actually go through with it? While he was afraid to admit that he wanted to, he wasn't sure if he could, but being in that house with Trevor would only lead to more misery. Exhaling heavily, Ian smirked then turned to Mickey and looked deep into his ocean eyes.

"Well, what's in it for me?" Ian questioned coyly.

"You'll have to come over and find out." 

"Alright, you're on! Let's get out of here." 

 


	5. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you notice the rating change? Yeah, this chapter is why and I've added ten chapters to the story on top of that. Expect a slowdown soon though because I don't normally have a lot of time to write. I'm getting as much done as I can while I'm sick, then it's back to school, and doing adult things.

The entire ride back to Mickey's was quiet but not awkward, the two listened to whatever song was playing on the radio, but once they arrived and the door was shut behind them - everything changed inside the dark home. Mickey flipped the lights on, leading the other to his room, and as he opened the door he felt tension in the air change from slightly sexual to nervous. Mickey pressed his back against the wooden door and furrowed his brow at Ian, Ian scratched the back of his neck nervously, unsure if he wanted to go this far with someone he didn't know.

Mickey removed his coat, his sweater, then finally the t-shirt beneath and stood before Ian. "We doin' this or are you just going to stand there staring at me until I blind you with my supposedly perfect looks?" Mick questioned, a devious smirk crossing over his lips as he locked eyes with the ginger. Ian nearly picked Mickey up as they made way for the bed, the younger of the two men getting hard nearly instantly, despite the nerves at play.

" **That's what I thought.** "

" _Have you even done this before?_ " Ian asked, sitting up as he straddled the hips of the other man, Mickey nodded his head.

"Juvie; _several times_. I usually top in the slammer but when I'm out, well," Mickey confided with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't fuck around much."

"Alright." Ian mumbled in response, taking off his own shirt, which exposed the scar he attempted to cover up on his side with a military tattoo. Mickey assumed that was what almost killed the young man. He took his mind off of that fact and moved to help the other undress, starting with his belt, since he had changed clothes before leaving the bar. Mickey's eyes locked on the outline of Ian's hard cock through his jeans, he had to be at least nine or so inches, with great girth. It was then that he knew he wanted to bottom this time around.

"Mind bottoming this time? I like to top." 

"Not at all." Mickey confessed hurriedly, grinding his hips upward against Ian as he removed his jeans and boxers in a swift motion. The two were finally without clothes after a few moments passed, Ian lubed himself up after placing a condom on, and told Mickey to get on his stomach.

"You're _bossy as fuck_ , you know that?" Mick commented, doing exactly as he was told while Ian smirked in amusement to get lined-up with the other young man's entrance. Mick breathed heavily through his nose, an unfamiliar sting filling the lower half of his body, as Ian slid inside of him for the first time. "---Holy shit," Mickey groaned into the pillow while Ian held onto Mickey's shoulders as he began to tease the other with slow paced thrusts. "That kind of burns, Ian. The fuck?" 

Ian didn't answer, he continued to move his hips, knowing it would get better for the other if he kept at it - slow, steady, and even. Ian was already feeling jolts of pleasure running down the length of his hard member and he bit his lip as it became agonizing to stay so slow. Mick's back arched and the two locked eyes as Mickey looked over his shoulder at Ian; the younger man taking that as his cue to move his hips even harder and faster now. He propped himself on one knee, taking Mickey's hips into both of his hands, as he moved. Feeling Mickey finally start to move against him, Ian moved his hips in search of a certain spot and when he hit it, Mickey let out the loudest moan.

It was quite possibly the sexiest noise Ian had ever heard coming from another man; _including Trevor_ , which he tried to keep out of his mind.

"Even your ass is perfect, Mickey. So tight," Ian breathed, a moan followed as he locked eyes with the other once more. "You're so good at this."

Mickey's hips bucked back against Ian's again, meeting in perfect unison with the younger man, as Ian hit Mickey's spot again causing Mickey to grip the sheets as hard as he could with his back arching again against his friend. His shoulders touching Ian's freckle splattered chest as their position changed. Mick had taken charge, grabbing the headboard so they were both on their knees while Ian reached around, hand already covered in lube once more, to jerk Mickey off while Ian built up to a slow but powerful finish.

Edging himself so the other could possibly hit his own climax at the same time. 

Ian placed one hand on top of Mickey's as he held onto the wooden headboard; he kissed along the older man's neck, while his other hand remained hard at work to finish off Mickey - before he could come. Feeling a few twitches and jolts beneath his palm, Ian knew he was close to finishing the other off, and began to thrust harder into Mick to reach his own climax. His spine was tingling, his legs felt like they were going slightly numb, and a familiar feeling behind his pubic bone began to get more intense.

" _I'm so close_ ," Mickey moaned, the sight of Ian's eyes being closed with his jaw slack and his mouth slightly open while whimpers of pleasure escaped his lips only made Mickey want to come even sooner than before. 

"I'm right there," Ian grunted, his expression changing as his face scrunched and his mouth closed. It looked like he was wincing but when he let out a moan, warm jolts of come spurt into the condom, and Ian's dick jerked slightly with every jolt - hitting Mickey's spot perfectly. Mickey let out another loud moan and came; making a mess out of Ian's hand and Mickey's own lower stomach. Mickey collapsed down onto the bed, feeling Ian pull out to remove the condom and toss it into the trash can beside the bed. 

The two grabbed some tissues from the nightstand and cleaned themselves off; Ian then sat down at the foot of the bed, still naked, as he looked over to the older man next to him. Taking the sight in. Sure, it was different from what he had experienced before but he was glad that he had been able to spend an evening like this with Mickey Milkovich. It was unexpected but also - perfect, to say the least.

Mickey caught his breath and looked over to Ian, adjusting due to soreness, as he locked eyes on the ginger again. "Should we keep doing this? Be friends with benefits or some shit like that?" Mickey asked, sounding almost hopeful that the other would say yes but he was trying so hard to play it cool.

Ian grabbed his jeans, got out a lighter, and two cigarettes then lit both - handing one to Mickey. While they smoked, Ian thought over what he had been asked then finally came up with an answer for Mickey. "As long as you don't get attached, yeah, we can do this regularly. I don't care." Ian suggested, Mickey smiled back at him as he exhaled smoke through his nose.

" **Sounds good to me.** " 

* * *

 Mickey looked like he wanted to say something to ginger. He just couldn't form the words because he was scared of being rejected by the other. Ian took note of how Mickey was looking at him and laughed quietly. "Damn, dude, you're looking at me like you want to cuddle or something. That's not like the guy I remember at all," Ian admitted, staying at the foot of the bed but by that point the two had on some of their clothes. 

"Not that big of a fag!" Mick snapped unintentionally which caught Ian off-guard; the other looked at him more seriously this time and sighed softly to himself. Thinking it was time for him to head out before Mickey could get weirdly attached to him and ruin a potentially good thing for the two of them.

"Alright, well, I'll head out now. I need to get home since Trevor told me not to be out too late; I wake him up when I get back and he has to be awake by five. It's after four now," Ian stated, as he put his shirt on and gathered his things which were in a pile beside the bed. 

Mick felt kind of hurt but relieved at the same time. "Whatever you want, Firecrotch. **See you around**." 

"And there you go, _right back to being a dick_ , just like old times. Maybe I'll change my mind; I'm going to have to sleep on this one - but not here." Ian retorted, that was the last thing Mickey heard after the boots and coat were on. Ian headed out into the night and Mickey remained laying there in his boxers; unsure of how to feel, what to think, or if he should even say anything to Ian again. He thought of keeping things from Mandy, too. 

The eldest Milkovich sibling fell asleep after that and when Mandy got home she walked into his room, noticing the other looked different, and it was because he was nearly naked and still slightly sweaty.

"Wake up, Sunshine! What the hell happened to you last night?" Mandy questioned, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips as she looked her brother up and down. 

"Hooked up with Ian but it probably won't happen again." Mickey commented, seeming disheartened by the words escaping his lips and Mandy rolled her eyes while she sat down next to the other.

"Give it time, you never know. I'm surprised he fucked you at all though."

"Wait - how do you know who did what?"

"You just told me, genius! Get dressed, we're going to Patsy's for breakfast on me."


	6. If It's Meant to Be

"Count if you want, there's twenty-three in that bottle. I swear, I'm fine, Fiona!" Ian tossed the bottle of Lexapro over to his sister and she went through it as fast as she could; twenty-three pills left on the mark. She was impressed that her brother seemed like his old self for once without being off the medication.

"Good for you, Ian. I'm proud of ya!" Fiona replied as she tossed the small bottle back to her brother. After what happened at Mickey's, he felt too much guilt to be with Trevor, and decided to stay at the home he grew up in. Sleeping in his old bed for once was a nice change, it was very different, but nice. That scared Ian as much as the thought of Mickey being on his mind non-stop. "So, why are you acting so peppy this morning?" She questioned only to realize her brother seemed to be spaced out again.

He snapped out of it and turned his focus back to Fiona's words. "It's the whole meeting a new guy thing - I can't get him out of my head - and that scares the hell out of me." Ian confessed, his breath sounding shaky as his hands grew cold as ice from nervousness. "I barely know him but he seems to be really into me and I can't face Trevor because of it. That's why I came here for a few nights." Ian continued, his brow furrowed and eyes were focused on nothing in particular. 

"Did anything happen with you and this Mickey guy?" Jimmy spoke up, as he sat down with the two on the couch. Ian nodded, he laughed bitterly under his breath then sighed as he aimlessly looked through his phone. 

"Yeah, we fucked a couple of nights ago and I haven't talked to him since, but he has tried to text a few times. I guess I'm ghosting him right now," Ian spoke softly,  Fiona looked shocked as she realized that her brother seemed to really be interested in someone other than Trevor, when he and Trevor had been together over a year. "I can't even look at Trevor but he wanted this to happen; he encouraged me and wanted me to see someone else. I tried but it still feels like I cheated on him." Ian continued on, Jimmy had a confused look on his face as he looked over at Fiona. Fiona simply shrugged and shook her head; she never understood her little brother's boyfriend issues, they were different in their own way, from her issues with guys.

"I need to get ready for work, anyway. Thanks for listening, you two." With that, the conversation was dropped as Ian went upstairs to change into a clean uniform for his day job. Fiona continued to discuss things with Jimmy and they were both left confused in the end by Ian's words. He was saying one thing, saying another thing, then doing two other things entirely. 

* * *

 

Ian looked down at his phone - another text came from Mickey. "Alright, fine, I'm done trying - be happy with that Trevor guy and I'll find someone else whenever the time is right for me. Had a good night with you but I think we're done, doing whatever it is we're doing, if you're going to be like this." Mickey had sent, Ian felt frustrated and immediately started typing a response.

"If that's what you want, I'll be glad to tell Trevor I'll go with him and help with those kids since I have medical training behind me. They would likely let me be part of their project because of that and I think that would be best. So you're right, we are done here." Ian wrote back, pressing send as he went through his contacts, stopping as he got to Mickey's number and he let out a shaky breath before hitting delete.

Mickey's eyes widened. "Holy shit, he's actually done with me? I mean we didn't have anything going on but - what the fuck, Gallagher?" Mickey didn't mean to think out loud but then Mandy overheard him and her eyes locked on her brother. She turned, seeing him sitting on his bed wiping a tear from his eyelid before he could even begin to let this break his heart in two. Sure, it hurt, but he wasn't going to let this guy he slept with once break him.

"Don't be a fucking pussy, Mickey. Do something; I'm not saving your ass this time!" Mandy exclaimed from the doorway, Mick looked at her then back down at his phone as he typed out another message. 

"Don't...don't do this, Ian. I just wanted to hear from you, alright?" Mick pleaded in his text message, the number popped up, and Ian sighed while he opened the text. He stood outside on the porch as he prepared to leave for work then sat down to reply to Mickey again.

"Then don't be a prick about things, alright? We're not anything right now, we're just screwing around if that's what you want but I don't think I should let you do that since you seem to be getting attached - I can't handle that shit." Ian explained, hitting send.

"You think I feel like that about you? You ain't shit to me, man. We just fuck around like you said; I don't want anything with you so why not let it continue? We're having fun, that's all." Mickey replied. 

"Alright. I believe you but I'm a busy guy so don't get mad if I'm out with Trevor, he's my best friend, and I still care for him a lot. I'm spending my last bit of time with him until he has to leave here for Thailand and I also work two jobs. You can come see me at work, some nights I'll come home with you but I'm going home to Trevor tonight. Later, Mick." Ian wrote, huffing out a long angered sigh as he stormed off to his vehicle to go to work. 

* * *

"You have the day off today, remember?" Ian's boss reminded him, he then looked down at his phone and realized he was a day ahead of himself, and his schedule was for him to be at the Fairytale that night; not at the EMT station that day. "Go home unless you want to work two exhausting jobs today!" His boss added, Ian smirked and nodded.

It was a relief to have some time off. He went back to the Gallagher residence, grabbed his stuff, then headed for his and Trevor's place. 

As soon as he walked through the door with his things, Ian noticed Trevor sitting on the couch crying, and went over to see what was wrong. "Trev, why are you crying?" Ian asked, Trevor looked up and tried to stop crying before getting up to hug the muscular ginger. "Do you have bad news for me or something?" 

"I'm leaving here in three days. You need to get prepared to move back to your old home," Trevor spoke softly, his face brushing against the nape of Ian's neck. Ian began to shake as he pulled the other closer to him.

"Don't go, please. I can't do this alone." Ian begged but it fell on deaf ears, Trevor had made his mind up to go, and he was going to do just that. 

"You have your family and your friendship with Mickey. Give the guy a chance when you move home, okay?" Trevor asked of Ian, looking up at the other male. 

"Can we have one last night together tonight - and tomorrow?" 

"You need to work tonight and no, it's a bad idea, you can't be attached to me when I go. Please, just - I think it's best if you go ahead and collect your things tonight and go home to your family. I can't do this, I'm sorry." Trevor admitted, wiping tears away from his puffed up eyelids which were dark from exhaustion and shades of pink from crying so much.

"Are you ending everything now?" Ian asked, his voice cracking as he took a step back. "Did I do something wrong because you encouraged everything..." Ian added.

"It's not really about you, it's about me getting my shit together so I can go and get rid of this place, and you need to pack up and go. Seeing me after today, after I help you get situated, that's not going to help; you'll long for everything I want to move on from." Trevor rambled, his sadness turning to annoyance as he spoke while crossing his arms over his chest. "Just get your shit and forget about me - us - move on because I'm not going to come back after I'm done in Thailand; I'm going elsewhere to help other people in another area." Trevor confessed, Ian swallowed a lump in his throat then nodded, feeling his phone buzz, he looked at the text he had been sent.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you tonight." Mick had sent, Ian narrowed his eyes then angrily looked up at Trevor.

"Okay, I'll get my things and I'm getting Mickey to help me move. I need to go call him; excuse me." Ian stated, his demeanor had gone cold as he stormed off to his room to start taking posters down and packing up what he could, while he called the older of the two.

"Ian? What's up?" Mick answered after three rings.

"I need you to help me move out of here, Trevor's kicking me out, and I have to go back home. I'll explain shit when you get here but if you want to be on good terms with me, come help. I'll text you the address." Ian replied.

"Yeah, uh, I'll be on my way."

* * *

 

Mickey grabbed as many boxes as he could and Mandy decided to help out as well by getting more from the liquor store near by. She sent her older brother alone to go help Ian out, she didn't want to interfere, since she knew things were rocky between the two. They needed to fix their own problems, in her opinion.

Ian answered the door and motioned for the other to come inside. Mickey brought several boxes as he was asked; he headed straight for the other's soon to be former room.

"So, let me get this straight here - he made you sleep in a different room?" Mick questioned, Ian nodded over his shoulder as he folded clothes as fast as he could. Stuffing his things into the first large box.

"Yeah, we mutually broke up but I'm not exactly over it yet, Mick." Ian replied, just as Trevor turned the corner to look into the bedroom.

"Hey, I'm going out to get some stuff I'll need for my trip. When you leave, go ahead and leave your key behind and don't worry about rent and utilities. I've got this month covered, keep your money, and please - be happy." Trevor stated, not giving the other a true chance to say goodbye before he was already down the hall and out the door. Ian stopped in his tracks and in that moment, Mickey could see how serious this all was for Ian, and it was like the thug grew a heart out of nothing. Compassion for Ian came out of nowhere; when he had once been angry, refusing to feel - now he was feeling totally different.

Mickey glared as he watched Trevor leave like it was nothing to him. " _I want to fucking deck that shithead_." Mick thought, his eyes narrowing in anger for a passing moment before Ian got his focus put back on him. 

"Ian, uh," Mickey began though he didn't know exactly what to say. "I... uhm, I get it now, you loved him didn't you?" Mick questioned. Ian nodded and wiped tears from his cheeks as Mickey did what he never thought he would do for anyone. "C'mere." He whispered, pulling Ian in for a hug, so he could let out any sadness and get back to it. Feeling the other shake in his arms nearly brought him to tears too.

"I'm not going to force this; whatever it is we have, I can wait until you're okay again if you want more than this thing." 

The second eldest Gallagher brother looked down at his friend. "I don't want to talk about it and don't push things. Let them be, alright?" Ian asked, Mickey nodded then wiped a tear of his own away. 

"Yeah. Alright, as long as you're willing to stick around."

"I will... as long as you don't push me into anything. Let's see how this thing goes, okay?" 

"Yeah, fine by me, dude."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that... Trevor is gone, on a bad note. You're welcome.


	7. Pity Party

"What's Mickey Milkovich doing here?" Lip asked, watching as the oldest Milkovich sibling walked up the stairs of the Gallagher home. "If he steals anything -" Lip continued only to be shut up by Ian's interruption.

"One, _we're hanging out_ and two, he won't steal from you. He's living a clean, crime-free life now and he's trying to keep from going back to prison; especially after his last time in the slammer. Stop making assumptions, **you ass**!" Ian ranted bitterly, shutting his older brother up and Lip sat the box he was holding aside to go sit on the couch, to quietly sulk since he knew he couldn't go up there now.

The two finished unpacking boxes, putting things away, and tidying up Ian's old bed which was covered in clutter. Mickey smiled at Ian for the first time and finally earned one back, the two quietly high fived after a job well done, and went back downstairs. Lip was drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew when he realized they returned. He watched as the pair talked, laughed, and got along in the kitchen before picking up on how Mickey seemed to be getting the reactions Trevor got from Ian at the start. The same longing looks, the same smiles, the lingering eye contact and the playfulness. **Same patterns** ; _completely different man_. 

"Hey, uh, _Mickey_?" Lip called out as Mickey got out a soda from the fridge. The younger of the two furrowed his brow in response to Lip greeting him.

"Yeah? **The fuck do you want?** " Mickey inquired.

"---To invite you to my twenty-fifth birthday party. It's going to be at our place but there won't be any beer; I've been sober for six months now and I don't want to break that sobriety. I ain't doing rehab again." Lip suggested, he was trying to be friendly to make up for the mean things he said out of assumption earlier in the day.

Mickey glanced over to Ian.

"Yeah, come keep me company." Ian commented with a smirk. Mickey was left speechless for a moment then nodded as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

"Alright, I'll be there." Mick answered; Lip simply nodded, giving the two a knowing look as he walked out of the room to go back to minding his own business. 

* * *


End file.
